The ninth step of humility asks us to learn the discipline of silence: Do not speak unless asked a question. Benedict supports this with the ancient wisdom, “In a flood of words you will not avoid sin,” and, “A talkative person goes about aimlessly on the earth.”
It is difficult to overstate how important it is to control our speech and to prefer silence to speaking.
Unless we learn to restrain our words and appreciate silence, our judgments can quickly become the norm, our opinions the measure of things, and our words the last words—the only words that matter. Humility asks something very different of us. It invites us to be the last one into a conversation rather than the first. It teaches us to listen before answering, to understand before judging, and to remain open to the possibility that another person may possess a truth we have not yet seen.
This is the ground upon which humility is formed.
Silence is not emptiness. It is room—room for another person to speak, room for wisdom to emerge, room for God to be heard. The humble person does not need to fill every silence, correct every statement, defend every position, or have the final word.
Both our speech and our humor reveal something about the condition of the heart. Benedict asks us to cultivate a heart disciplined enough to listen, gentle enough not to wound, and humble enough to make room for another.
“The humble person cultivates a soul in which everyone is safe. A humble person handles the presence of the other with soft hands, a velvet heart, and an unveiled mind.”
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